I’m Thin! It works!! May 2008
So a few little injections later and I’m thin! Well, thinner. Yes, it worked and guess what it helped me on Saturday night too. Three people commented on my new figure, one who said I looked gorgeous! But he doesn’t count as he’s an ex shag!
Anyway the confidence is back, the self loathing has almost disappeared and I feel fabulous.
Now I’m back on track it’s time to get hunting. Hunting for fresh meat, fresh, young meat and you couldn’t get any fresher than the young stallion I pulled on Saturday. A twenty six years old personal trainer, with a body to die for.
Sadly he’s not as naughty as me and likes to date a few times before doing the deed! I ask you, what’s happening to the younger generations these days. No sex on the first date, what every next.
Fat Injections in Harrogate April 2008
Stop the Press, one of our very own local beauty Salons is starting Fat injections. yes, these clever little needles are put into the fat where the fluid starts it’s magic, the fat is broken down a down and our bodies just take it away.
How brilliant is that! This is a surgery-less lipo, This is almost pain free fat loss, without the silly diet. Now, not that I need too much of this treatment, I’ve always kept myself quite trim, but I heading down there before everyone gets to know about it.
So once I’ve had my trail of it, I’ll let you know what the results are like. Remember, you heard it here first with Audrey Darling.
I have a dilemma dear readers.
March 2008
My son, yes shock horror, I am old enough to have one, has a new girlfriend. Nothing unusual about that, trouble is the dirty old trout is my age!!
She’s old enough to be his mother!! Well, strictly speaking she’s not, but come on this is not good. He’s only only twenty and she’s....she’s old enough to know better!
He wants to bring her home to introduce me, introduce me I ask you, what does one say to a near Grandma who’s shagging my child?
‘Hello, Nice to meet you, isn’t there anyone your own age that would have you?’. Or ‘ Hello, How are you? Oh, your arthritis is giving you problems, perhaps it would help, if you weren’t groping my son!’
Anyway, I promised to bite my tongue and they came round, she’s 39 which is only 3 years younger than me....she could be my sister. Anyway, she looks great and I can see why he’s gone for her. She looks a little like me. I mean, don’t take it the wrong way, I’m not suggesting my son fancies me or anything, we just look a like.
Then it came to me.... When my son was out of the room I said.
‘You look great for your age, (nice dig) who’s your surgeon?’ and without batting an eyelid she said.
‘I go to a great one on Harley Street, Mr Blah Blah!’
‘So do I!’ I replied before realising the implications
No wonder we look the same, we have the same bloody nose and jaw line.....that’s the last time I use that cosmetic surgeon! I want to look individual, not mass produced!
Apparently I’m a Cougar!! Feb 2008
Some of you may have noticed that I’ve not been around for most of Christmas or New Year and that’s because I’ve met a new man! Yes, he’s gorgeous and young..... 21 years younger to be exact. He’s tall, treats me well and has the energy of a man who’s 21 years younger than me.
So after many long nights of staying at his flat, I returned home and met up with a few friends. Only to find out that, not only are they jealous of my young lover they show their jealously through telling me off about our age difference. This is when the term Cougar was used. When looking this up I find it’s
‘a large American wild cat with a plain tawny to grayish coat, found from Canada to Patagonia.’ I don’t like the use of the word plain, but it doesn’t appear too, being a Cougar. It’s sound quite glamorous.
I shows that the surgery is working, that’s for sure. Although i did hear of a 70 year lady who is dating a 35 year old...... Hmmm not sure about that one. That’s not a cougar that’s a crocodile!!
I am very aware before anyone tells me, that this is not going to last forever. Who would want it to. I mean, it’s all well and good go out with a young one, but the conversation is very limited!
